The Date
by angelsinstead
Summary: Rachel agrees to a blind date set up by Chandler and Monica, but has no clue exactly what it is she's getting herself into. Pairings : Monica & Chandler and Rachel & Joey
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own Friends or the characters. This was written for entertainment purposes only.

~*o*~

"But I don't want to go out on a double-date!" Rachel protested.

"Ohhh come on, Rach. You haven't had ANY fun since you broke up with Joey. You can't stay around the apartment all day, eating Rocky Road ice cream," Monica insisted.

"Why not? It tastes good," Rachel said as she reached for her trusty carton of Rocky Road.

"No, Chandler and I want you to go out with us tomorrow night. We'll have so much fun. You'll see," Monica said as she took the ice cream from Rachel and placed it back inside the freezer.

"You're no fun, Monica!" Rachel exclaimed. "In fact, you suck!"

"Who sucks?" Chandler asked as he walked into the apartment.

"Your wife!" Rachel cried out. "She sucks big-time!"

Chandler grinned as he walked over to the fridge and withdrew the carton of Rocky Road ice cream. "Who's been eating all my ice cream?" he whined.

"It was Rachel. She ate ALL of it!" Monica responded.

"Why? Why are you staying in our apartment?" Chandler asked Rachel brokenly. "You eat all our ice cream. You run around moping and crying. And you spend hours in the bathroom... shaving your legs!"

"I do not!" Rachel cried out defensively. "And besides, I am only here because Joey and I got into a fight and-."

"All the more reason to go out on that double-date with us tomorrow night," Chandler encouraged. "You need to get out... have fun... and let your hair down."

"But I HATE blind dates," Rachel complained.

"You'll love this one," Chandler told her with a wink.

"Alright. Whatever. I will go out on your stupid double-date... but if the guy sucks, I'm gonna punch him."

Chandler and Monica passed each other secret looks. They were quietly laughing behind Rachel's back.

"Hey, what's going on? What are you not telling me?" Rachel asked when she saw them snickering.

"Uhhh nothing... nothing," Chandler replied.

"It was something! TELL ME!" Rachel insisted.

She glared at Monica and demanded she spill the beans. "Chandler and I refuse to discuss our sex life in front of you," Monica said quickly.

"Ewww... ohhhh my God! I have already seen ENOUGH since I have moved in here with you guys! I am traumatized for life after your late-night romps on the table where we all have breakfast!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Well, this is our apartment... and I do have needs," Chandler said with a little grin.

"He's an animal," Monica said as she put all the blame on Chandler.

"You're the one who ripped off my shirt and demanded I pleasure you!" Chander cried out.

"Will you two stop it? Sheeesh! If I have to hear this stuff on the date tomorrow night, I am gonna lose my lunch! Then what will my date think?" Rachel demanded.

"Does this mean you'll go with us on the date?" Monica asked hopefully.

"Well, I guess..." Rachel said hesitantly. "As long as he isn't old and bald... and he doesn't smell bad..."

Chandler was cracking up. "I promise he isn't old... or bald... or smelly. He's going to be everything you want... and everything you need."

"How can you be so sure?" Rachel asked.

"Trust me," Chandler replied with a smirk.

TBC... 


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own Friends or the characters. This was written for entertainment purposes only.

~*o*~

Joey was sitting in his favorite chair eating cold bacon and a jar of green olives. Chandler walked in to see Joey staring at a blank T.V. screen. "Whatcha doin', pal?" Chandler asked.

"Nothin'," Joey muttered as he continued to stuff his face with olives.

"Why are you eating THAT and staring at a blank screen on the T.V.?"

"Dunno," Joey replied absently.

"You miss Rachel, don't you?"

"No... NO, I don't!" Joey cried out a little too quickly. His shook his head in denial, but Chandler knew the truth.

"Why don't you just apologize to her?" Chandler asked as he took a seat on the sofa.

"She's the one who ate my muffin!" Joey exclaimed.

"You and Rachel broke up because she ate your muffin?!"

"Yeah, everyone knows I don't share my food!"

"I can't believe that you broke up with your girlfriend and she ended up moving out... just because she ate your damn muffin!"

"Well, it was MY muffin. I left it right over there on the counter and then I went to take a shower. When I came back, there were crumbs all over the counter... and my muffin was gone!"

"Did you ASK her if she did indeed eat your muffin?" Chandler questioned. "And why didn't you just go out and BUY another muffin?!"

"That would be too easy, wouldn't it?! Rachel ate my muffin. She should bake me another one!"

"So, if Rachel made you another muffin, you'd get back together with her?" Chandler asked.

"I would consider it- YES!" Joey responded.

Chandler shook his head as if that was the craziest explanation for a break-up that he had ever heard. "I think you should just forget Rachel. Who needs her, right?" Chandler prompted.

"Well, I do kind of miss her..."

"You do, huh?"

"Yeah, I miss her warm snugglies in the middle of the night and the way she'd sing cute little songs to me when I had a bad dream."

"She ate your muffin though... so it's time you started dating someone else. Monica and I are going out on a date tonight... and we'd like you to come along."

"I'm not into kinky threesomes. Not even with you and Monica, my best friends."

"No, no... I am not asking you to have a kinky threesome with me and my wife!" Chandler exclaimed. "We have the perfect date for you. Monica already asked her, and she said 'yes.'"

"She said 'yes'? She wants to go out with ME?"

"Yes, she does. We'll have a wonderful time," Chandler said as he slapped Joey on the back. "Just use some breath spray after eating those olives. She did say she wanted a guy that does not smell."

"Alright, I can do that. I will use minty-fresh breath spray and my manly cologne," Joey agreed.

"Wonderful. I will be here to pick you up tonight at 6 o'clock... then we can meet the ladies at our secret destination," Chandler said with a little smirk.

"Oooo ... how mysterious. Is this woman the stripper-type? I've always wanted to date a stripper. You know, with really big-."

Chandler laughed. "Nope, she's not a stripper. But you're gonna LOVE her. Trust me!"

~*o*~

Rachel and Monica were getting ready for the date. "Do I look sexy enough?" Rachel asked Monica as she put on a low-cut red dress. She had her hair piled atop her head with little whisps of curls hanging down. She slipped on her gorgeous high heels as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was trying to make sure that her make-up was just perfect for her date.

"You look wonderful," Monica said with a smile. "You can bet his mouth is going to water when he sees you, Rach."

"I'm nervous. What if this guy wants to make out with me on the first date? Or what if he's some disgusting creep?"

"Really, Rachel? Would Chandler and I set you up with some disgusting, horny creep?" Monica demanded as though insulted.

"Maybe... YES!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Well, he's not! He's sweet and he's funny... and you're just gonna LOVE him!"

"You better be right... or I am gonna smack him with my purse... HARD," Rachel stated. "Especially if he stares at me lustfully and tries to put his hands on my-."

Just then their conversation was interrupted by Monica's cell phone ringing. "That's Chandler," Monica said. "I better get it."

She answered the call as Chandler spoke to her on the phone. "Don't worry, honey. Rachel and I are almost ready and we'll meet you in 20 minutes at our secret destination," Monica replied.

"Secret destination," Rachel repeated when Monica had ended the call. "What in the world? Where are you taking me? Just exactly what kind of date is this?"

"You worry too much, Rachel. You're gonna have the time of your life. Trust me!" Monica promised.


End file.
